Today is a good day. Trump caved on his border wall, reopening the government and earning the nickname “Cave Man.” Roger Stone was arrested on obstruction charges. And the right, meanwhile, is imploding into a puddle of hate and failure. After over a month of the shutdown threatening the security and general stability of the country while federal workers went without pay, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of celebration, right? Even if it’s at the expense of another person?
Don’t worry, that person is only Ann Coulter.
The chant wasn't "SIGN A BILL WITH B.S. PROMISES ABOUT 'BORDER SECURITY' AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE, GUARANTEED TO FAIL!"— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) December 20, 2018
It was "BUILD A WALL!"
Coulter was one of the people credited for inspiring Trump to suddenly focus on the border wall hardcore and start the shutdown. Back in December, she started writing and tweeting about the wall and Trump’s apparent broken promises, calling him a “joke.” Just a couple days later, the shutdown began, even though Trump unfollowed her.
Is she really responsible for the shutdown that caused people to lose their health insurance, their homes, their vehicles, and for federal contractors, over a month’s worth of pay? Maybe, but even if she isn’t, she’s a terrible person, so it’s hard to feel bad about all the people making fun of her for her post-government turn-on meltdown.
And the gifs alone are just super funny.
Ann Coulter watching the Rose Garden announcement, pic.twitter.com/kOs8KnL3IQ— Oskaer (@Osman__13) January 25, 2019
And now to Ann Coulter.... pic.twitter.com/MQCzUZSY0S— Jennifer Hayden (@Scout_Finch) January 25, 2019
CNN is reporting that a house did in fact fall on Ann Coulter. Now we go to the live footage of her demise... pic.twitter.com/RfLILANKEf— Kate (@mariahcareyed) January 25, 2019
Ann Coulter is so thoroughly disgusted with Trump that she can’t even park straight. pic.twitter.com/AFUvZU0Szk— Linda Childers (@lindachilders1) January 25, 2019
live look at ann coulter pic.twitter.com/FEMspFK12m— m i t h (@ManInTheHoody) January 25, 2019
Ann Coulter’s tears taste like Sebastian Gorka’s cigar ash.— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) January 25, 2019
US throat model Ann Coulter spontaneously combusts. pic.twitter.com/xOybsD4cPD— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) January 25, 2019
Good news for America, Ann Coulter may be Trump’s boss, but she’s not our president. https://t.co/7vZbg7YAhz— Khary Penebaker, Fx (@kharyp) January 25, 2019
Ann Coulter fans are all up in my mentions. Now, some of you may be thinking, "Anne Coulter has fans?!?!" but i once found a vibrant Facebook community devoted to posting pictures of trashcans, so there's a fanbase for everything.— Elizabeth May (@_ElizabethMay) January 25, 2019
When you've lost Ann Coulter, you have lost the entire gargoyle community. https://t.co/oiJR2W5drF— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) January 25, 2019
*Ann Coulter softly vapes cherry flavored hydrofluoric acid while cuddling her life-sized Robert E. Lee body pillow and watching only the first half of Remember the Titans* https://t.co/V79UI6EKEl— Jenna (@jennaep7) January 25, 2019
Ann Coulter calls Donald Trump "biggest wimp ever to serve as president" as conservative media blasts "cave" on wall— ??Aunt Crabby calls Bullshit ?? (@DearAuntCrabby) January 25, 2019
Golly, Ann. Maybe you need a Snickers bar and change back into Tomihttps://t.co/8NkfWFIpvz
For the same reason that many of us slow down and rubberneck in traffic for a brief glimpse of the mangled remains of a car wreck, I WILL be watching Ann Coulter's mangled remains on #RealTime tonight.— BrooklynDad_Defiant! (@mmpadellan) January 25, 2019
Lord help me. https://t.co/TJtJzVwhFU
Breaking: Ann Coulter applies at Macy's to be necklace model after she realizes her career as a political huckster is over. https://t.co/fPiQ1ReTP8— Alternative NOAA (@altNOAA) January 26, 2019
IF YOU SEE ANN COULTER, TELL HER I’M IN THE BATHROOM pic.twitter.com/eDxESxLvBI— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) January 25, 2019
In a desperate attempt for attention, Laura Loomer will handcuff herself to Ann Coulter’s ideology— Roland Scahill (@rolandscahill) January 26, 2019
Ann Coulter's Tears is my fave LaCroix flavor.— Scott Linnen (@ScottLinnen) January 25, 2019
So Trump ghosted Lindsey. Meanwhile, Ann Coulter is writing a new book called “Trump pees sitting down”— Adam Parkhomenko (@AdamParkhomenko) January 25, 2019
"Ann Coulter" after Nancy Pelosi win and Roger Stone's indictments. ? pic.twitter.com/7HhHL98Inl— R Joseph (@rjoseph7777) January 25, 2019
Is Ann Coulter feeling any better now? Let's check pic.twitter.com/XMB3jPAsdv— Ten Second Cynic (@TenSecondCynic) January 26, 2019
Ann Coulter will be on Bill Maher tonight. We’ll see if she’s more Wicked Witch Ann or Gollum Ann.