Yesterday was the final and most resembling an LSD nightmare day of the Conservative Political Action Conference or CPAC. Most of the press coverage was focused on Donald Trump’s two-hour sweat fest, during which he groped the American flag and went on the usual unfocused rant about mothers funneling birth control pills directly down their daughters’ throats. There was also something about John McCain’s ghost, because nothing says conservative like bashing dead war veterans that were on their side of the aisle the whole time.
Other than those focus points, the general public was not so interested in this year’s CPAC. And conservatives might have been able to go on with the year without anyone noticing the mass disinterest if it weren’t for Chairman of the American Conservative Union Matt Schlapp, the man with the funniest sounding last name since John Boehner. In what is being called a “historic self-own,” Schlapp went on Twitter to blame Twitter for the fact that CPAC wasn’t trending while Bernie Sanders’ latest rally was.
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 3, 2019
Are conservatives out of touch with the public, particularly younger generations who are more likely to use Twitter?
No, it’s the Twitter who is wrong.
Would anyone have noticed that CPAC wasn’t really trending at all outside of people being creeped out by Donald’s flop sweat if Schlapp hadn’t accidentally pointed out that Bernie Sanders is way more popular than all of conservatism because he doesn’t know how Twitter works? Probably not. Thanks, Matt Schlapp!
Somehow, in spite of half of Twitter taking this incredible opportunity to dunk on Schlapp for being an old man yelling at the cloud, the chairman hasn’t deleted the tweet yet.
Perhaps the half full room of flip phones ain't turning it over ???
— Shawn B. Phillips (@Shawn_Phillips) March 2, 2019
Exhibit A pic.twitter.com/uel0b3WTTq
— Casey Hines (@caseyhines) March 2, 2019
Russian bots didn’t get the memo?
— Molly Knight (@molly_knight) March 2, 2019
which three-quarter empty conference room at the gaylord did you tweet this from
— #occupymarwen (@Mobute) March 2, 2019
Matt just schlapped himself in the crotch.
— Nicolas Falacci (@NickFalacci) March 3, 2019
Boomers don’t know how to use Twitter, Matt.
— Neoliberal ? (@ne0liberal) March 2, 2019
Hey, Matt. Donald Trump has supporters like you fake-shaming the media every chance you get. Now you’re begging for any coverage at all, huh? Funny how life works. pic.twitter.com/iu8gNKOolz
— Jermaine Watkins ✍? (@JermaineWatkins) March 2, 2019
Maybe nobody cares about your little jerkoff conference?
— Evan Hurst (@EvanHurst) March 3, 2019
Maybe the St Petersburg troll farms get Saturday off?
— Helen Kennedy (@HelenKennedy) March 2, 2019
Wow sir ,,, could only be a case of liberal bias ,,heard there were dozens of people there !!
— Walter(Owen's Grandp (@walterowensgrpa) March 2, 2019
You can't force people to like you Matt. You have vast experience of being disliked, you think you would have learned this.
— Filosofella (@filosofella) March 2, 2019
ask cambridge analytica, matt… oh wait!
— The Dude (@iDudeness) March 2, 2019
Carnival barking gets old fast for normal people.
— Laura Park (@ElbowRoomier) March 3, 2019
You’re so right…CPAC isn’t getting the credit it deserves for its agenda of vindictive bias, discrimination, unwavering support for mendacity, unethical conduct, blatant corruption, authoritarian rule, rejection of honor, integrity and the liberty of others.
— ML (@MarcLiesner) March 2, 2019
Think about it, Matt.
I believe in you!
— Political Machine (@bdragon74) March 3, 2019
— Itgetzby Buckner (@peld41) March 3, 2019
It’s called an Algorithm.
Or, Math for short.
— bardgal (@bardgal) March 3, 2019
How come my wet fart didn't win a Grammy
— Nick Douglas (@toomuchnick) March 3, 2019
Exactly. Why are there not more people making fun of CPAC?
— Brooks PhotoGrump (@BrooksAyola) March 2, 2019
Lemme blow your mind dawg:
Fewer people are tweeting about your dumb thing.
— Stefan Sirucek (@sirstefan) March 2, 2019
And *we’re* the triggered snowflakes?! ?
— Cheryll (@EightiesBigHair) March 3, 2019
Cpac WAS trending at one point bc it was so bizarre that everyone was talking about the nutzo lies y’all were spouting.
— Sarah (@InWrongTimeline) March 3, 2019
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus knew when to get out of that business, and you all think you can revive it? People aren't interested, dude.
— Tony (@TileTony) March 3, 2019
It’s a deep state plot, Matt.
— Callipygian Sea (@Callipygian_Sea) March 3, 2019
— Thomas Clinch (@thommytsunami) March 2, 2019
Go eat some worms, Schlapp.