The original poster of this story has deleted his Reddit account, but the screenshots of his damning comments will last forever on Twitter. He initially asked if he was an a**hole for “babying” his wife, which he was accused of doing by his 14-year-old daughter.
After reading this story, I’m hoping someone launches a rescue mission for the OP’s two teen girls because they are growing up in a narcissist and her enabler’s house.
According to the OP, he has two daughters, but the trouble has been with the youngest one, Madison. His wife, Lacey, has been having a lot of trouble with Madison. On the surface, it’s because they’re so different:
So I absolutely love my wife, but she is ridiculous, and vain, and still my favorite person in the world. Lacey cares excessively about appearance and dresses very feminine. She has a hard time with the fact Madison is developing her own style, and she can get controlling. For example they had a big fight over an “ugly” pair of Vans, though Lacey did buy them in the end.
But it actually seems to run much deeper than that. The situation came to a head when the OP came home and found the two fighting because Madison had cut her own hair.
Now I think it looks ridiculous. She gave herself f*cked up bangs and there is a red streak, but at the end of the day Lacey doesn’t have to go out looking like that. Well Lacey started crying and Madison said she doesn’t want to be a “vapid, trophy wife, Barbie” like her mom. I grounded her for that, but said that I’m on her side with the hair.
That seems like normal teen stuff: cutting your own hair, yelling at your mom. It’s understandable that the OP doesn’t want to allow his kids to disrespect their mom, even if the mom is overreacting. But it seems to go deeper than that:
I’m the biggest pushover with Lacey though. She kept crying about how the kids don’t appreciate her and she doesn’t know who Madison is anymore, and when Lacey gets upset she gets hysterical. Well I told the girls they can fix their own dinner (there are plenty of leftovers, Lacey cooks every day) and I hung out in the bedroom with Lacey, gave her like an hour long foot massage and helped her relax. Madison told me this morning that she thinks I coddle her mom and she blames me for the situation as well. So am i an a**hole for trying to be a good husband?
Okay, so you do baby your wife.
In a series of comments responding to people reasonably asking for more information, the OP makes it clear that he loves his wife more than his daughters, he is fully aware of how shallow and selfish she is, and he has no expectations that she will change.
He also seems aware that this is messing with his kids, but still feels no responsibility for making a change.
If your wife or husband is already a giant child, don’t bring more children into the family. And manipulative tantrums aren’t genetic, they’re taught. These girls may have a lot of problems in the future, but hopefully they’re learning what they don’t want to be, too.