in Stupid People

‘Duck Dynasty’ Guy Roasted After He Claims No One Needs Health Care Because Of God

“Duck Dynasty” star and wizard cosplayer Phil Robertson was on Fox News recently where he was asked for his opinion on Kamala Harris and healthcare for some reason.

Looking like someone who spends his weekends holding a sign that reads “REPENT SINNERS THE END IS NEAR” at an intersection, Robertson took the opportunity to launch into an impromptu sermon, explaining that nobody needs healthcare because of….God.

“Kamala I already have healthcare…it’s given to me by God….eternal healthcare..I’m guaranteed to be raised from the dead. I have life and immortality given to me by God through Jesus Christ.”

Please, sir, tell us more about this “eternal healthcare.” It sounds like a great policy but what’s the deductible?

When host Neil Cavuto drily interrupts Robertson’s heaven speech to say “But people get sick on Earth in human form so… ” the woodsy crackpot responds:

“The temporary reprieve is not worth it. I’m telling her: I have eternal healthcare and it’s free. Doctors can give you a little temporary reprieve but they can not save you from physical death. The doctors who treat you, they die too.”

Good lord.

Cavuto tries to salvage a rational thought from the wreckage of Robertson’s mangled magical thinking, meekly protesting:

“But you’re not dismissing that we need….people need healthcare, right?”

But Robertson barrels onward with narrow anecdotal evidence that he frames as universal fact:

“I didn’t have healthcare for fifty years and someone says now I’m rich and famous so I say Miss Kay you can buy every kind of insurance known to man if you want to but I never needed it for fifty years so there you go.”

It’s almost like the reality TV duck-hunter isn’t an expert on healthcare policy and may, in fact, know diddly squat about it. Good thing FOX is giving him a national platform to spout off about it while also spreading the Good Word.

Oh and he said a bunch of other dumb stuff too.