There are a lot of stories on Reddit from people looking for advice. Sometimes it seems like the issue can be resolved with a little communication, but other times it’s like a scary window into a relationship that needs to end immediately.
Unfortunately, because it’s the Internet, we don’t always get an update on what happened after the poster got their advice. This is a tale that starts out from an awful place. Then, Reddit comes to the rescue.
It was posted on r/AmItheA**hole by u/ThrowRA540098, who wrote that her boyfriend said she “was embarrassing him” while she was giving birth to their baby:
We have been in a relationship for 1 year and we had a baby boy last week. I had a natural birth and my bf was there throughout the whole process. I screamed A LOT and each time I did he whispered something like “can you stop screaming, you’re really embarrassing me”. I also threw up a few times and I saw him cover his face in shame.
When I held the midwife’s hand for comfort he whispered “let go of her, stop being so embarrassing”. He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing and called me a few vulgar names.
I’m really upset about his behaviour that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most. When I try to talk to him about it he denies ever saying it and that I’m being silly…
There are literally thousands of comments telling the OP that this is very scary and abusive behavior and she should leave as soon as possible. Giving birth is incredibly messy and painful, and the person doing it deserves all the support and love from people around them, not some sociopath whispering insults in their ear.
She also replied to a commenter who said she’d “screwed over” the father of her child from raising that child “because he said something ill-thought in the heat of the moment.” OP explained that this wasn’t the first time her baby daddy mistreated, abused, or manipulated her. It was just the breaking point.
The OP edited her post to explain that she wasn’t sure where to go because her mother isn’t necessarily on board with her leaving the father of her child. “I spoke to my mum about this but she is the very traditional type and although she said his behaviour is wrong, I should try couple counseling first,” she wrote.
But then there was a brand new post, and Reader…she left him:
Reading people’s responses reassured me about how serious the situation was and how I’d be stupid if I stayed in the relationship and allowed it to get worse. I spoke to my mum, who recommended couple counselling and if that didn’t work then I would be allowed to live with my parents. I then approached him when he came home and gave him an ultimatum, I told him he can either continue to ignore that he acted horribly during the birth and other numerous times, or he can admit to how he has treated me and apologise and get counselling, but obviously he continued to gas- light me and got extremely angry to the point where he was screaming at both me and the baby. He ended up storming out to his best friends.
Her mother then came around and welcomed her home:
I’m just glad that myself and my baby are out of there and I can finally enjoy being a mother, yesterday I went shopping and bought what I wanted instead of what he wanted and I never felt so free since before I met him, to many people that will sound ridiculous, but quite frankly he controlled every single aspect of my life.
She also explains that a number of people messaged her that counseling is often a bad idea with manipulative people like her ex-boyfriend will sometimes perform being a certain type of person around the therapist and very different in private. She added that she still plans to see a therapist herself, because the whole experience has been very difficult. “Thanks again, I won’t forget all of you that helped in the time when I needed it the most,” she concluded.
Yes, thank you, Reddit. Good things do happen on you.