Friends like the ones Reddit user IncrediblyShinyShart has are hard to come by. Friends that will, quite literally, eat your flesh for fun.
A couple of years ago, 38-year-old Shiny, who prefers to remain anonymous, was hit while riding his motorcycle. His foot was so shattered, doctors said he’d never walk on it again. So he elected to have it amputated. They also let him keep it.
Three weeks after his accident in the summer of 2016, Shiny invited ten friends to brunch. According to Vice, who interviewed our boy, “They ate apple strudel, quiche puff pastries, fruit tarts, and chocolate cake. They drank gin lemonade punches and mimosas. And then the main course came out: fajita tacos made from Shiny’s severed human limb.”
A portion of his tibialis anterior, to be exact. The photos are hella graphic so we’ve omitted most from this post, but you can check out the full set here if you are so inclined.
Cannibalism is not a federal offense in the United States. Outside of Idaho, where the act of eating human can land you in prison whether said human gave consent or not, there are no laws prohibiting it. Most states have enacted laws making it illegal to obtain and eat human flesh, but it in the remaining 49 states it remains kosher.
Which is why Shiny feeding himself and ten buddies foot fajitas is also kosher. In his Reddit post, he said “It tasted like buffalo, but chewier. Super beefy and little fat.” Vice interviewed the experimental cannibal to understand his motivation. We’ve pulled our favorite quotes, but you can read the entire interview here.
On why he ate his foot: “It’s not going to be cremated and chucked into a landfill. It’s a part of me, and I want it back.”
On why the doctors gave him back his amputated leg: “Most hospitals have policies where they will release your body parts to you because of some religions where you have to be buried whole, so I just signed the paperwork”
On preserving the meat: “I got back to my place and I froze it. I couldn’t find a taxidermist who would take me seriously and freeze-drying was too expensive. It would have been $1,200 to freeze dry the thing. If I had the money I would have done it. ”
On not being weirded out by his amputated foot: “I had four friends with me at the time, and it was all surreal. We picked it up and were playing with it. It didn’t seem like it was a foot. It just seemed like an object, not a piece of a person. There was no emotional connection…In fact, that was the weirdest part, was that it wasn’t weird.”
On finding ten people to eat his foot with him:
“I invited 11 people. I said something like, “Remember how we always talked about how, if we ever had the chance to ethically eat human meat, would you do it? Well, I’m calling you on that. We doing this or what?” Ten said yes. I guess we’re a weird group.
There were several different friend groups involved. I approached one group with the idea and they were like, “Totally.” Because how often are you going to get this chance? One friend said she’d ask her boyfriend, a chef, if he would do the cooking. Perfect.”
On the recipe: “[The chef] marinated it overnight and sautéed it with onions, peppers, salt, pepper, and lime juice. Then he served it on corn tortillas with a tomatillo sauce. [Read the full recipe, transcribed by the chef, here.]”
On the taste: “This particular cut was super beefy. It had a very pronounced, beefy flavor to it. The muscle I cut was tough and chewy. It tasted good, but the experience wasn’t the best.”
On closure after the accident:
“The outpouring of compassion and empathy I received from my friends and my loved ones really helped me take on the challenge of this big change in my life. So I was taking care of this body part that took care of me for so long. I was paying homage to it and giving it a proper send-off.
I have the ashes sitting in a jar on my girlfriend’s altar in her living room, and I’ll take it to my grave. It’s part of me, and this experience is a part of me, too.
Things worked out so damn well afterward. My life has gotten so much better. I left the town I was in and a job of 10 years that was killing me emotionally. I moved to another state. I have a way better job that I enjoy the hell out of. I’ve met a woman who I’ve been with for over a year and a half now and she’s the best thing in my life. I’m so much happier now than I could conceive of being before. And it’s because of this time where my life was threatened and I persevered through it. Eating my foot was a funny and weird and interesting way to move forward.”
Because the Reddit thread was an AMA (“ask me anything”), we were given a deeper look into Shiny’s cannibalistic meal. For one, neither Shiny nor his friends had any moral or ethical hangups about eating his foot.
Also, the question of “why,” straight from the horse’s human-flesh-eating mouth:
The experience, overall, was “neat.”
A little more description of what foot tacos taste like never hurt nobody:
Shiny did not throw up, but one of his pals gagged into a napkin:
Silence of the Lambs references were made often enough for Shiny to tire of them:
Who doesn’t enjoy a good severed foot joke?
Most importantly, beating meat > eating meat, confirmed.