A mechanic advertised her brother’s car in “idiot terms”—and her hilariously scathing description has gone viral.
After becoming annoyed with men who were constantly trying to knock the price down, car enthusiast Laura Jones of Coventry, West Midlands was asked by her brother to help him sell his Ford Fiesta.
Jones, who is also a supercar instructor, wrote an advertisement for the car on Facebook mocking the car for a variety of sins—including the fact that it apparently changes color at night.
“This is a 59 plate (also known as 2009) Ford Fiesta—not a focus, not a Clio and certainly not a flying carpet,” writes the witty 26-year-old.
“The car is grey—don’t ask me what shade of grey it is, all I know is it’s a special color-changing paint as it looks black when it’s dark… as does everything else around it—funny that…The car is a 3 door—1 door on the left, 1 door on the right and a tailgate to the rear—you may use any of those doors to enter and exit the vehicle if you want to mix things up a bit.”
Jones also explains that she is “more than happy to take you for a spin in the car”—with some understandable qualifications.
“By spin, I mean take it around the block and demonstrate all gears work correctly, brakes work and throttle without any components falling off the car. If at any point whilst I’m driving, you decide to try and find chav FM on the radio, adjust my mirrors, press any buttons, or god forbid, attempt to speak to me, I will kindly leave you on the side of the road,” she writes.
And lastly, she has some strong words for people who think they can take advantage of her because she happens to be a woman trying to sell a car:
“Last but not least, if you happen to be that absolute knobber who comes to view the car, realises I’m of the female kind and attempts to tell me how the car is broken in anyway shape or form, I promise to waste a minimum of 50 minutes of your time going along with your lies, purely for entertainment, shits and giggles, making you think you’re going to get the car for half the price, followed by mid-conversation, shaking your hand and kindly telling you to p*ss off.”
So as my brother is away with work, he’s for some reason, asked ME to sell his car for him (god only knows why anyone…
According to Jones, the car has not yet sold! You still have a chance!