Getting married is a huge commitment because you’re taking a chance on someone. There should be love and trust because those things will get you through all the stuff you can’t know yet about what the future will hold. You’re promising to support them and be there with them through the good and the bad, whatever may come.
Unless you’re engaged to Reddit user throwawaythissh*t-, who has since deleted her post and account after her story about her fiancé’s wedding ultimatum blew up. It was captured on Twitter and the comments still survive. She titled the post on r/Relationships, “My (29F) fiancé (25M) wants me to get a 3D full body scan or CT scan to make sure that I am “healthy” without any underlying medical problems before we get married.”
She starts by saying they’ve been together five years, living together for free and she’s pretty happy. But something weird has come up.
“He sprung it on me last week out of the blue that he wants me to have a full body CT scan before we get married so he can review the results to make sure that I don’t have any hidden diseases in my body that might kill me in the next few years,” she writes. Huh. How happy are you, actually?
Of course, the OP does not want to do this:
First of all, those full body scans are several thousand dollars and we cannot afford it. Secondly, I don’t want to have it done because I’m healthy and I feel fine. I think his request is unreasonable and a bit bizarre if you ask me.
He is not wavering in his request though. He says he can not give me a lifetime commitment unless he is certain I don’t have a secret disease growing in my body that might lead to my death in a few years.
She concludes, “The whole thing has caused a bit of a problem between us because I feel he’s being unreasonable and he doesn’t feel he is. We’ve reached an impasse, and I don’t know what to do.”
Most of the comments are advising her to run like her fiancé is taking out an insurance policy on her life. Or like he’s just an idiot—CT scans aren’t just expensive, they expose you to an enormous amount of unnecessary radiation, and they’ll always see something. That might mean way more money and invasive treatments just to find out you have a benign cyst in your butt.
And more to the point, the vows say “in sickness and in health” not “assuming you aren’t sick based on extensive medical testing and in health.”
Since she deleted her post, I’m guessing she’s not gonna leave him. I hope the hospital turns this couple away.