Dean
Do you ever wonder just what God was thinking when he (or she) created weird animals like the duck-billed platypus? I’m kidding, of course, God didn’t invent animals, they evolved, but it’s fun to imagine conversations god had with himself (or herself) and with the angels while coming up with things like kangaroos and giraffes.
People on social media have been making jokes about God creating certain things for years, and here are some of the best ones.
1.
Corgi: why are my legs so short?
God: that’s just what legs look like.
Corgi: oh cool.
[giraffe walks by]
Corgi:
God: you weren’t supposed to see that.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) February 4, 2019
2.
3.
[God creating the ocean]
GOD: Just put water friggin everywhere.
ANGEL: Nice, that way if they’re thirsty, they—
GOD: Make it undrinkable.— swann’s güey (@athleisure_monk) June 8, 2015
4.
[God creating spiders]
"Make it have 8 legs"
Seems excessive but ok
"And 8 eyes"
You need to calm down a li-
"Give it a butt rope"— matt (@dogfather) June 18, 2016
5.
GOD: 8
ANGEL: 9!
GOD: We shouldn't do this drunk
ANGEL: 10 lol
GOD: 15!!
ANGEL *mouthful of pizza* 25
GOD: 30!!
CENTIPEDE: *tearing up* stop giving me legs, I look stupid
GOD: ONE HUNDRED LOL
ANGEL: LMAO— Jon (@ArfMeasures) June 4, 2018
6.
God: you can breathe underwater!
Fish: nice.
God: also eat and drink underwater.
Fish: so where do I go to the bathroom?
God:
Fish: just on the land or something?
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) January 13, 2019
7.
adam: [naming the birds] tits
god: lol ok but let's take this a little more seriously
adam: blue-footed boobies
god: you can't name all the birds after boobs
adam: [pointing to rooster] cock
— shen the bird (@Shen_the_Bird) September 23, 2018
8.
GOD: my latest creation will have the body of an ape, the voice box of a parrot, the skin of a pig, and the intelligence of a dolphin. I call it Human, and it will destroy everything else I've made
ANGELS: [confused applause]
— wwwdmmmffnn (@woodmuffin) January 27, 2019
9.
god: i have made Mankind
angels: you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety— mike pence's first wife, lilith (@jon_snow_420) October 28, 2015
10.
[God making coconuts]
ANGEL: Hair on the outside?
GOD: Yes
ANGEL: Milk on the inside?
GOD: Yes
ANGEL: So, this is another mammal?
GOD: [taking bong rip] lmao, no
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) February 3, 2019
11.
God: what are they doing down there?
Angel: they are making milk from almonds
God: what?! I gave them, like, 8 animals to get milk from
A: they dont like that milk
God: [mockingly] tHey DonT LiKe THat miLk *flips a table*— The Dad (@thedad) August 20, 2018
12.
13.
Swordfish: my nose looks ridiculous.
God: at least you have a cool name.
Swordfish: so?
God: I could have made you look ridiculous AND have a dumb name.
Swordfish: but why would you do that to someone?
Hammerhead Shark: yes God why would you do that to someone?
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) January 16, 2019
14.
[god creating bees]
Put a needle on its butt.
“Come on God, wha—“
Make its puke delicious.
“WTF.”— swann’s güey (@athleisure_monk) April 8, 2015
15.
