Dean
Do you ever wonder just what God was thinking when he (or she) created weird animals like the duck-billed platypus? I’m kidding, of course, God didn’t invent animals, they evolved, but it’s fun to imagine conversations god had with himself (or herself) and with the angels while coming up with things like kangaroos and giraffes.
People on social media have been making jokes about God creating certain things for years, and here are some of the best ones.
1.
Corgi: why are my legs so short?
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) February 4, 2019
God: that’s just what legs look like.
Corgi: oh cool.
[giraffe walks by]
Corgi:
God: you weren’t supposed to see that.
2.
3.
[God creating the ocean]
— swann’s güey (@athleisure_monk) June 8, 2015
GOD: Just put water friggin everywhere.
ANGEL: Nice, that way if they’re thirsty, they—
GOD: Make it undrinkable.
4.
[God creating spiders]
— matt (@dogfather) June 18, 2016
"Make it have 8 legs"
Seems excessive but ok
"And 8 eyes"
You need to calm down a li-
"Give it a butt rope"
5.
GOD: 8
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) June 4, 2018
ANGEL: 9!
GOD: We shouldn't do this drunk
ANGEL: 10 lol
GOD: 15!!
ANGEL *mouthful of pizza* 25
GOD: 30!!
CENTIPEDE: *tearing up* stop giving me legs, I look stupid
GOD: ONE HUNDRED LOL
ANGEL: LMAO
6.
God: you can breathe underwater!
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) January 13, 2019
Fish: nice.
God: also eat and drink underwater.
Fish: so where do I go to the bathroom?
God:
Fish: just on the land or something?
7.
adam: [naming the birds] tits
— shen the bird (@Shen_the_Bird) September 23, 2018
god: lol ok but let's take this a little more seriously
adam: blue-footed boobies
god: you can't name all the birds after boobs
adam: [pointing to rooster] cock
8.
GOD: my latest creation will have the body of an ape, the voice box of a parrot, the skin of a pig, and the intelligence of a dolphin. I call it Human, and it will destroy everything else I've made
— wwwdmmmffnn (@woodmuffin) January 27, 2019
ANGELS: [confused applause]
9.
god: i have made Mankind
— mike pence's first wife, lilith (@jon_snow_420) October 28, 2015
angels: you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety
10.
[God making coconuts]
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) February 3, 2019
ANGEL: Hair on the outside?
GOD: Yes
ANGEL: Milk on the inside?
GOD: Yes
ANGEL: So, this is another mammal?
GOD: [taking bong rip] lmao, no
11.
God: what are they doing down there?
— The Dad (@thedad) August 20, 2018
Angel: they are making milk from almonds
God: what?! I gave them, like, 8 animals to get milk from
A: they dont like that milk
God: [mockingly] tHey DonT LiKe THat miLk *flips a table*
12.
13.
Swordfish: my nose looks ridiculous.
— Oops!...I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) January 16, 2019
God: at least you have a cool name.
Swordfish: so?
God: I could have made you look ridiculous AND have a dumb name.
Swordfish: but why would you do that to someone?
Hammerhead Shark: yes God why would you do that to someone?
14.
[god creating bees]
— swann’s güey (@athleisure_monk) April 8, 2015
Put a needle on its butt.
“Come on God, wha—“
Make its puke delicious.
“WTF.”
15.
