It’s 2019, people. We now know that saying “hi, guys,” or “Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen” might be making some people feel excluded, unseen, or even misgendered. It’s hard to break a habit like a traditional greeting, though. If you’ve been trying to remember to use more gender-neutral phrases when addressing a crowd, maybe a helpful way to remember is by laughing at something so much it burns into your brain.
Twitter user Ellory Smith asked their followers for their favorite gender-neutral greetings, offering,”What’s up, rat bastards!” to kick things off. Do you think that’s how Frank Sinatra greeted his friends?
Everybody drop your favorite gender neutral greeting mine is “what’s up rat bastards”
— ellory smith (@ellorysmith) July 30, 2019
The suggestions Smith got are pretty off the wall, but also extremely memorable. “Stay fresh, Cheese Bags,” was right in front of us the whole time and we didn’t even realize!
My son says this to his friends when he leaves whatever XBox game they’re playing.
— Sarah Ensor (@write2sarah) July 31, 2019
There were a lot of options already embedded in fan-favorite shows, from Game of Thrones to Futurama. In fantasy realms and sci-fi worlds, gender has already been dealt with.
— Tybee Diskin (@hellotybeeren) July 31, 2019
— Andrea DeWerd (@ajdewerd) July 31, 2019
Vastly underrated tweet and excellent Futurama throwback
— Shady Macbeth (@SandeelizHahn) July 31, 2019
Should this be attributed to 30 rock of Beyoncé? They’re both right.
— Leen Nella (@thatgirlleen) July 31, 2019
How offensive you want to be might determine what you say. Maybe you want a polite “theydies and gentlethems.” Maybe a more aggressive “whattup f*ckos.” There are so many options out there without referring to a “he” or “she.”
Theydies and Gentlethems
— a l e x . r e m n i c k (@AlexRemnick) July 30, 2019
How’s it going baby sharks?
— ?Elle ?Gato? Maruska ? (@ellle_em) August 1, 2019
I’m partial to “WHATTUP FUCKOS”
— Dr. Zenny Spaghetti (@radcouch) July 31, 2019
common in my friendgroup is
*firm handshake* “Doctor.”
— Jacob, but dialectical (@JakeTCannon) July 31, 2019
— The Amazing Turnip Girl (@TATG_Kairi) August 1, 2019
Hahahaha someone else who greets exactly as I do! ??, once when my car was being towed (it broke down) I yelled ‘farewell heathen!!!!’ And the tow driver said ‘my name is Mitch?’.. I meant my car
— Phaedra Leena (@phaedraleena) August 1, 2019
“Bonjour, Bottoms” is my new fave
— gay update: still gay (@BettieWoodQueen) August 1, 2019
How will you be opening up your next seminar or beginning your next toast? Remember, “ladies and germs” is only half inclusive.