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Jeff Sessions Giggles Like A Schoolgirl As High School Kids Chant ‘Lock Her Up!’

Turning Point USA is a billionaire-backed college conservative group with anemic membership. You probably remember them for the pathetic campus demonstrations they put on where a few sad loners hold up signs that say things like “HONK IF YOU’RE HORNY FOR CAPITALISM” or whatever.

You might also remember them for the time the Kent State chapter put on diapers and crawled around on the ground to own the libs.

Today they held their High School Leadership Summit, to prepare high school students for life in the liberal re-education gulags they know as “college.”

TP USA managed to capture the youth and vigor of the conservative movement by inviting septuagenarian racist hobgoblin (and U.S. Attorney General) Jeff Sessions to speak. Unfortunately, poor Jeff was so electrifying, the crowd wouldn’t let him get a word out as they chanted “Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up!” (You know, from that awful election a couple years ago.) Sessions, of course, quieted the crowd and reminded them that the rule of law is sacrosanct and should never be used for political purposes. Just kidding! He chuckled like a whimsical gnome and repeated the chant.

This comes on the heels of the Trump administration floating the idea of pulling security clearances for former law enforcement and national security personnel who have the gall to criticize Trump’s disastrous presidency. It’s weird we’re supposed to be terrified of some shadowy “deep state” plot to politicize law enforcement when there’s a very un-shadowy plot to do the same unfolding right before our eyes.

Sessions remarks were characteristically bleak. He reminded the future of the conservative movement that we all live in hell and nothing will ever change that.

“Conservatism is a cast of mind,” Session said. “It’s a way of looking at things. It’s being a little cautious sometimes and not assuming as so many of the people today, that they can just remake history and the world can be entirely different just a few years from now. History doesn’t tell us that’s very likely to happen.”

Well, sure. Jeff Sessions was racist decades ago and he’s racist now, the Civil Rights movement whose legacy he’s dismantling had no effect on him!

In a “how do you do fellow children” moment, Sessions also quoted Kanye and praised Trump’s “dragon energy,” I guess because someone told him the teens would like that.

Sessions also went on to hail the Republican Party of Alabama for becoming ascendant after segregationist Democrat George Wallace won the governorship, with no mention of the means by which the GOP reclaimed power: by embracing Wallace’s racism.

At least it went over better than the last time Sessions warmed up a crowd by making a joke about ripping kids away from their parents.

Keep it, Jeff.