Parenthood can certainly be one of the noblest undertakings that life has to offer — but, we’d all be kidding ourselves if we didn’t admit that it was definitely not for the faint of heart.
While parenting can be immensely rewarding, it also requires dealing with an inordinate number of bodily fluids on a daily basis, yelling warnings from across the house, constantly having to narrowly avert disasters, and somehow juggling your kids’ ever-changing dietary preferences. It’s a lot to handle. Fortunately for those of us without kids, it’s also ripe for comedy. (Sorry, parents, but it’s true.)
So, take in some of these entertaining and cringe-worthy parenting jokes and remind yourself that parenthood is pretty much a constant barrage of surprises, and requires the patience of a damn saint.
My 6 year old’s superpower is knowing he doesn’t like what we’re having for dinner 2 hours before I’ve even decided what I’m making.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) January 25, 2017
Think you are chill and laid back? Watch your kid build and decorate a gingerbread house without intervening.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 3, 2017
One of the hardest parts of teaching your kids to be independent is watching them tie their shoes for 8 minutes.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 4, 2017
According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 27, 2017
“There’s no school or work tomorrow, so you can sleep in,” I begged my 4-year-old.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) December 23, 2016
Before I had kids, I thought I had a great immune system, but it turns out I was just really good at staying away from the type of people who sneeze directly into your eyeballs while telling you a story.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 10, 2018
I’m just a mom, standing in front of my husband, trying to say something that I can no longer remember cause my kid interrupted us 75 times.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 2, 2017
Toddler: MOM I POOPED ON THE POTTY
Me: good job!
Toddler: AND NOT ON MY UNDIES
Me: i’m proud of you
Toddler: AND NOT ON MY PANTS
Toddler: AND NOT ON THE TOOTHBRUSHES
Me: wait what
— Ash (an female) (@adult_mom) February 1, 2018
I took my kids’ screens away so we could spend some quality time together and it turns out they are really terrible to be around
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) January 22, 2017
You’re going to miss this, I whisper to myself as I’m shot in the butt with a nerf gun while unclogging the toilet.
— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) January 26, 2018
Grocery shopping with kids is just saying “put that back!” every 30 seconds until everyone is crying.
— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) January 13, 2017