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Biological Warface Specialist Explains Why You Should “Never Get In A Pool In Las Vegas”

In the past few months, the world has gotten a crash course on spreading viral infections. Some places are in denial about the possibility of a horrible outbreak in their city and town, and that includes Las Vegas, a petri dish dependent on lots of tourists all touching the same dice over and over. Many people are pretending COVID-19 isn’t happening and going back to business as usual. But as chemical and biological weapons specialist Dan Kaszeta pointed out on Twitter, business as usual is pretty bad, too.

Kaszeta tweeted a warning that said, “Never get in a pool in las Vegas. Don’t even touch the water.”

This turned out to be a pretty controversial statement, and he tried to explain why in a brief tweet that definitely paints enough of a picture:

But I guess there are a lot of people who feel very passionately about swimming in a Las Vegas pool for some reason.

Probably some of them have a financial stake in the reputation of these pools, still others don’t want to think about the cocaine disease poop water they’re floating in. Kaszeta decided to go deeper and explain exactly why he knows what he knows:

Can I??

What is in the biochemist’s Shop of Horrors?

He writes, “Alarming levels of Giardia and Cryptosporidium, both highly resistant to chlorine. A huge number of metabolites from human urine. Fecal matter, human, mammal, and avian. Trace amounts of cocaine, ketamine, and several different opiates,” as well as adenoviruses, tularemia, and campylobacter., none of which are things I’ve ever heard of and yet I’m sure I don’t want them inside me.

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People continued to argue with him, but this is his position:

And some wanted to know about public pools in general. He seems to think Vegas pools are uniquely bad for specific reasons, but none are that great:

Damn. Coronavirus already had be scared to breathe air, now water is being taken away? On the bright side, I swam in a Vegas pool over a year ago and still live. Beating the odds in Vegas, baby!