Well, we’re waving goodbye to Mardi Gras, meaning today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, that 40-day period when Catholics give stuff up to atone for their sins. Funny, funny stuff.
But of course Twitter’s got tons of jokes about it, which makes giving up the things you love just a little bit easier. No? It doesn’t? Fine, just enjoy the jokes for a minute and then go back to wishing you hadn’t said no junk food til Easter.
Lent starter pack: pic.twitter.com/xnT6tciJjd— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) February 17, 2016
When you realize that Lent starts this week but it feels like Christmas was only yesterday pic.twitter.com/5Mrbwca5f2— Kaitlyn Callahan (@kaitmcallahan) February 7, 2016
For Lent this year I am giving up— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) March 6, 2019
Me: I’m giving up sugar for lent— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) March 6, 2019
All of LA: you still ate sugar?
I have decided to give up poverty for Lent. Address me as a person of wealth henceforth. Be blessed— FK. (@fkabudu) March 6, 2019
giving up shitting for lent— eve peyser (@evepeyser) March 6, 2019
for lent missouri needs to give up the cold weather— brittany (@mogirlprobs) March 6, 2019
I went to get my full license and forgot it was Ash Wednesday. pic.twitter.com/HDbN9vOZGp— elena (@elenaq32) March 1, 2017
*priest drags ashes across my upper lip*— erin chack (@ErinChack) March 1, 2017
PRIEST: [whispering] stache wednesday
The "I'm hungry but it's a Friday during Lent" starter pack pic.twitter.com/Pd8RlmpEqD— Andrew Bergkamp (@a_berg38) March 3, 2017
When people ask me what I learn about in a Catholic School pic.twitter.com/o1k1XI0AKS— Abby Hamilton (@Abby_Hamilton08) February 2, 2016
For Lent I’m giving up— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) March 6, 2019
That’s it. That’s the whole post, it didn’t get cut off or posted accidentally. You see, what I’ve done is to cleverly
when you're catholic & you forget to go to church on ash wednesday pic.twitter.com/uWtAalZ20h— Nathan (@hosterthepeople) February 11, 2016
you know you're Catholic when you genuflect before you go into a row at the movie theater— Cayley Kamm (@CayleyKamm) February 6, 2016
This year for Lent, Christian Trump supporters must give up supporting Trump forever.— God (@thegoodgodabove) March 6, 2019
Can I get an amen? 🙏
for lent everyone should give up— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) March 6, 2019
When u forget that none of your group chat went to Catholic school pic.twitter.com/Vqo6JvClan— carnie smith (@carn4ge_) February 7, 2016
me: "we commemorate the day you died every year"— k e i t h🐤🥔 (@KeetPotato) March 24, 2016
jesus: "thats nice, what's the day called?"
me: "bad friday"