The depths of ridiculousness that America has been forced to confront every day as the never-ending fallout from the 2016 presidential campaign continues are truly astounding. Every time you think we’ve hit the bottom…that false bottom falls out and we go plunging ever further down the garbage chute.
The latest absurd revelation, which comes to us from the Wall Street Journal, is that Michael Cohen, Donald’s Trump’s long-time personal lawyer and fixer who recently flipped on the President and was sentenced to three years in prison, apparently paid to have a Twitter account made called “Women For Cohen” dedicated to calling him handsome and cool.
Quotes via Jezebel:
During the presidential race, Mr. Cohen also asked Mr. Gauger to create a Twitter account called @WomenForCohen. The account, created in May 2016 and run by a female friend of Mr. Gauger, described Mr. Cohen as a “sex symbol,” praised his looks and character, and promoted his appearances and statements boosting Mr. Trump’s candidacy.
According to the Journal Cohen funneled payment for the fake fan account through a tech professional (the aforementioned Mr. Gauger) who had already helped the Trump campaign “try to rig online polls in his boss’s favor before the presidential campaign.”
This all sounds very legal and very cool.
Cohen is known for acting tough and attempting to intimidate journalists and critics of Trump’s and, much like Trump, who would famously call up journalists while posing as a non-existent publicist just to brag about himself, it seems Cohen also wasn’t above using the dark arts to burnish his public image.
Cohen also radiates insecurity and seems like the type who tries to mask that insecurity with mob-boss bravado and expensive suits.
So it’s not exactly surprising that he’d do this. And it’s as pathetic as it is hilarious.
The account tweeted images of Cohen making TV appearances or mugging with various conservative dim-bulb luminaries like Sean Hannity, all while gushing over him like a middle school crush.
Look at this glorious nonsense.
What a great looking guy! Always dressed to impress! pic.twitter.com/AnrnZxDvb8— Women For Cohen (@WomenForCohen) May 4, 2016
And this. So SNAZZY.
Our Favorite Guy™
They also posted these, now extremely ironic, Hilary Clinton memes.
Mostly i twas just extremely embarrassing comments that sound like your mom’s friend right before she pinches your cheek.
“You look so handsome!”
“Look at that smile!”
“Charming, intelligent, & handsome!”
Some of the tweets are downright horny for Cohen. Which is presumably what Cohen requested when he paid for the Twitter account to be made. The accounts bio even refers to him as a “sex symbol” which is a riot.
The account referred to Cohen as “sexy” and a “stud.”
he's a stud! You are just jealous you can't be him! #hesthebest— Women For Cohen (@WomenForCohen) August 31, 2016
Here’s one where he’s called “more sexy” than Andy Garcia.
At the time of this writing a parody account called “Women For Felons” had already popped up.
Do your thing, internet.