Get ready to have a lot of songs hilariously ruined for you.
Television critic and Twitter queen Emily Nussbaum asked her many followers to share their “worst musical misunderstanding.” At first, I misunderstood that to mean going to the wrong address for a concert, but most people took it to mean times when they misunderstood musical lyrics.
It’s a pretty common problem, apparently! From this thread you’ll learn that no one has any idea what “revved up like a deuce another runner in the night” is supposed to mean, but they all filled in the lyrics with something much weirder.
Please tweet your worst musical misunderstanding— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) July 16, 2019
There are also a few people learning things they never knew right on Twitter. If there are any goofy lyrics you’ve been confidently belting out during karaoke night, you might want to Google them now. Or just sing, “Biscuits! Biscuits!” when Faith Hill comes on. No one will stop you, because they’ll be laughing too hard.
For probably the first thirty years of my life, I thought Hall & Oates was a band called “Haulin’ Oats.”
— M.W. Grieco (@mwgrieco) July 16, 2019
Not quite as bad, but for the first six years of my like I thought Elton John was two people called Elt and John
— Sinead (@sinny_wright) July 16, 2019
and when he died, all he left us was a loan (I was a child with limited understanding of wordplay but ample fear of financial burdens)
— courteney (@coffeelegs) July 16, 2019
You give me beavers
When you kiss me
Beavers when you hold me tight.
— Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) July 16, 2019
“I wanna rock and roll all night/And part of every day.” Because…everything in moderation?
— Amanda Barrett (@amandabarrett) July 16, 2019
also, as a child I believed the fresh prince hailed from westville, rodophia
— Ariel Edwards-Levy (@aedwardslevy) July 16, 2019
There’s nothing that a hundred men on Mars could ever do 😭😭— just here for the cats (@nastyvoterwoman) July 16, 2019
In high school, I once said out loud, in creative writing class, that I liked The Doors because they “didn’t take themselves too seriously.”
— Rachel Klein (@racheleklein) July 16, 2019
go go Jason waterfalls
— ahmed ali akbar (@radbrowndads) July 16, 2019
when I was 10 I thought elton was saying that bennie had electric boobs
— George Conway (@gtconway3d) July 16, 2019
“A scrub is a guy who thinks he’s fly, also known as a bus stop”
— Liz Belsky (@lizbelsky) July 16, 2019
“Wrapped up like a douche, another boner in the night”
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) July 16, 2019
Rock the catbox. I sing that every day when I’m cleaning it whilst my cats supervise.— Liberty Hussein Bell #FBR #PRU (@LibertyHussein) July 16, 2019
“Ain’t no woman like the One-Eyed Glott.”
— Jennifer Wright (@JenAshleyWright) July 16, 2019
A goblin might sit on you. George Harrison, I Got My Mind Set On You
— Beth Guiteras (@Picabeth) July 16, 2019
Truly there are not enough songs giving us directions to the bathroom.— Liz Kastor (@lizziekastor) July 16, 2019
I thought the chorus to Tina Turner’s song was “What’s Love, Dr. Doo… Dr. Doolittle?”
— Deborah Roseman (@roseperson) July 16, 2019
Not mine, but someone I know thought that in the song “You’re So Vain” the words were “wife of a clothespin” instead of “wife of a close friend”.
— Nancy (@LinnaeaLita) July 16, 2019
van morrison is not the same person as morrissey
— Ariel Edwards-Levy (@aedwardslevy) July 16, 2019
It’s a book! pic.twitter.com/kTHqiZ6rE5— Katherine Heck (@Katherine_Heck) July 16, 2019
My son only just discovered that “I’ll never be your beast of burden” are the true words to what he thought was “I’ll never be obese like Bernard.”
— Dr Julia Baird (@bairdjulia) July 16, 2019
I will die still thinking the lyrics in “Blinded By the Light” are “wrapped up like a douche/ another rumor in the night”
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) July 16, 2019
For a long time I thoughr Jimmy Buffett and Warren Buffett were the same person, and I still have to remind myself occasionally when reading a news item that they’re not.
— Danielle Evans (@daniellevalore) July 16, 2019
I’m a creep, I’m a widow.
— Emily Landau (@emilylandau) July 16, 2019
I thought Jack Johnson was black. Right up until I was standing in the front row of one of his shows, trying to figure out why no other black people came to the concert.
— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) July 16, 2019
I was a fully grown adult when I finally realized that Little Red Corvette wasn’t about a car.
— Nicole, Great Looking and Smart True Stable Genius (@NoNameGirl8686) July 16, 2019
whoa oh, livin on a prairie
— Pig Bumpkin (@bigpumpkin4real) July 16, 2019
Not mine, but: my best friend spent weeks insisting that the “Hey Ya” lyric was “shake it like a corduroy pizza” instead of “shake it like a Polaroid picture”
— Kellie Herson (@kellieherson) July 16, 2019
The first time I heard Faith Hill’s “This Kiss” was in a KFC. I thought she was singing, “Biscuits! Biscuits!”
— Lee Ann Roberts (@EntMisbehavin) July 16, 2019
In “Sexual Healing,” when Marvin Gaye sings “I can’t wait for you to operate,” I thought he said, “I can’t wait for you to ovulate.”
— Laurie Crosswell (@lauriecrosswell) July 16, 2019
Superfreak by Rick James: always thought it was “The kind of girl you read about in Newsweek magazine.” Turns out its “new wave magazines.”
— Glen M (@GlenMcKee1) July 16, 2019
My mom thought it was "Open Condom, Smile."— Joel Cash (@joelcash1) July 16, 2019
“Maybe I’m just like my mother—she’s never sat inside.” – Prince
— Capitol Hill Books (@chbooksdc) July 16, 2019
When I was a little kid I thought The Beatles had a song called “Kentbobby Love,” which I assumed was about romance in the Town of Kentbobby.
— Matthew Segal (@segalmr) July 16, 2019
“I thought love was more or less a gibbon thing”.
— David M Barnett (@davidmbarnett) July 16, 2019
Well, it is a song by The Monkees.