Co-parenting after a divorce can be a struggle—especially if one of the parents is more responsible than the other. But should the more responsible parent be honest with their children about the other parent’s flakiness? Or should they just allow them to see patterns evolve on their own?
That's what one Reddit user is asking on the AITA forum. Apparently, her ex-husband forgot their child's special Harry Potter birthday cake—but she had a plan to make him feel bad AND also save her daughter's birthday.
"When my and ex's daughter 'Megan' was turning 13 she wanted a tiered Harry Potter cake (she loves the movies). She was very specific in what she wanted. I told her as gently as I could that I didn't think we'd be able to afford that. And my Ex took that opportunity to be the 'fun parent' and said in a doting voice 'Oh baby don't worry, Daddy will get you your cake.' She was all smiles and ran off to get her bags," the OP writes.
OP said she told her ex that if he was going to promise the cake, he needed to order it early. He got annoyed and told her he knew what he was doing and didn't need her help.
"I know my ex. He puts things off that aren't about him. I knew he was going to forget to order. Usually I'd pester him so he wouldn't forget. But he said he didn't need my help so I decided to not bring it up unless he did. But I did call a friend I have who started decorating cakes to order the cake from her. It cost a bit more than I'd have liked but not as much as I'd been worried it would."
Well...her ex forgot to order the cake.
"I was going to tell him not to worry, I ordered the cake for him. But then he says, "why didn't you remind me?!" I just snapped and said he needed to figure this out and he better have a cake tomorrow, then I hung up. He brought a cake…a plain white sheet cake with red trim and one of those print out sugar decals on the front of Harry Potter and his two friends. And a wax '11' candle…she was turning 13."
"He revealed the cake DURING her party so everyone was sitting quiet and Megan looked heartbroken and tried to be nice but she asked what happened to the cake she wanted. Ex floundered and I let him for a few seconds before laughing 'HAHA JUST KIDDING!' And then I went and pulled the cake I ordered from the kitchen."
So OP saved the day with the cake. But her ex was upset. He said that the OP humiliated him and let him look like a bad father. She said that the only one who made him look bad was him.
Should she have told him about the cake?
Would you have let your ex hang in the wind if they pulled a stunt like that?