Mueller May Have Obtained A ‘Nude Selfie’ And Twitter Is Bracing For The Worst

If you thought 2018 would end without one more gross, bizarre, and needless twist…what are you some kind of dumb idiot? 2018 was directed by M. Night Shyamalan…the writing is bad and there’s always going to be a dumb twist.

The latest obscenity we are forced to bear witness to as a nation as a result of Robert Mueller’s far-reaching Russia probe is that in the course of his investigations Mueller has allegedly obtained what is described as a “nude selfie.”

*pause for vomiting*

We don’t know who this supposed image is of, whether it actually exists, or what it has to do with anything. All we know is that, according to the Huffington Post, a reference was made to a “nude selfie” in a filing by a Russian company indicted as part of the Mueller probe. But the simple juxtaposition of those two words provided enough red meat for Twitter to make endless jokeburgers…and to feel a little sick.

I never in my life wanted to type the words “Mueller Nude Selfie” into Twitter but you forced me to.

Damn you, Internet. Damn you to hell.

1. First the facts: An indicted Russian company mentioned the alleged photo in its court filings.


3. And then the overwhelming consensus, which was an audible “Please, no…”



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Emotions were very mixed…