New mom Ashley J. Gibson posted a story about going through labor with her husband at her side and hearing four magic words from her husband as she went through labor.
She writes that during her time in the delivery room, she heard him tell her, “There’s no trophy, Ashley,” and has been hearing them in her head ever since.
“It put my whole world as a Mom into perspective. I was in agony and trying to decide whether or not to get an epidural. I had no idea I was already at the very end of my labor and would be pushing Leo out within minutes. All I knew was that I was in pain and couldn’t imagine laboring like that for what I thought would be a few more hours. I was trying to talk to him between contractions on the verge of tears and he lovingly spoke lots of support and some truth into my universe with, ‘There’s no trophy Ashley.’‘”
After her son Leo was born, it wasn’t the end of motherhood challenges. Ashley writes that every time she felt anxiety about anything from supplementing with formula to asking for drugs during labor for the pain, she remembered her husband telling her there was no trophy. Eventually, she wanted to share why remembering that had become so important on a daily basis: because there’s so much unnecessary competition to motherhood.
“Since having this third sweet boy six weeks ago I’ve given lots more thought to the invisible trophies we create as moms. Some society creates for us. Standards we try so hard to measure up to even though the contest is make believe and we were made to live in community, not competition.
There’s no trophy for delivering naturally vs. opting for an epidural or having a C-section.
There’s no trophy for breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding.
There’s no trophy for losing the baby weight the fastest.
There’s no trophy for cutest delivery gown (FOR THE LOVE, it’s okay to look like you just had a baby!!!).
There’s no trophy for most creative birthday party theme.
There’s no trophy for how many activities you sign your kids up for. [This list could go on forever]”
Ashley says she wants to invite other moms “to relax into motherhood” with her.
There’s only one “trophy” worth reaching for, according to Ashley:
“Because the only trophy you’ll carry through life is the bond you create with your baby. And like I’ve said before, we all go home from the hospital with a big basket of mesh undies and sanitary pads the size of our newborns no matter how glamorous our Insta pics look.”
An inspirational motherhood post that ends with a mention of diapers? This post actually does deserve a trophy.