On Friday, Pottermore, the official source for all things Harry Potter, made a joke on Twitter.
Then everyone on Twitter proceeded to sh*t themselves.
You see the joke was that Hogwarts, the fictional wizarding school at the heart of the Harry Potter series, didn’t originally have bathrooms and that, before plumbing was finally installed, its magic-wielding pupils would simply, er, soil themselves and then quickly use magic to clean their asses.
Hogwarts didn’t always have bathrooms. Before adopting Muggle plumbing methods in the eighteenth century, witches and wizards simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence. #NationalTriviaDay
— Pottermore (@pottermore) January 4, 2019
A lot of people take Harry Potter very seriously and this wasn’t merely some errant tweet. Pottermore is owned by J.K. Rowling herself, so its words carry serious (Sirius?) weight in the wizarding world.
Needless to say people were somewhat distressed by the malodorous revelation.
1. People weren’t just shocked. They were angry.
what the fuck
— Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) January 4, 2019
You can’t just say things
— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) January 4, 2019
This is the opposite of a fun fact
— Megan Shaw (@megshaw93) January 4, 2019
All I want is to write a popular book series and then reveal 15 years later that all the characters would shit on the floor https://t.co/JnA9mlJS0E
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) January 4, 2019
I could’ve lived a fulfilled life without this information pic.twitter.com/dWZAC4iKrW
— Jordan Taylor (@tooFacetious) January 5, 2019
6. It was the graphic nature of the pre-bathroom bathroom joke that really seemed to cling to people’s shorts and they responded with disgusting fan fiction of their own.
POTTERMORE: fun fact harry potter voided his bowels when he died so when Hagrid carried him back to Hogwarts and he gave that big speech to Voldemort he had shit in his pants the entire time
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 4, 2019
fun new pottermore trivia pic.twitter.com/44bZ9r5Wcx
— SungWon Cho (ProZD) (@prozdkp) January 4, 2019
New Pottermore alert: in the early days of Hogwarts most of the wizards were “insatiable piss pigs”
— Cullen Crawford (@HelloCullen) January 5, 2019
What’s the point and what’s your intention for revealing this disgusting fact 😅
— ♡yolan (@yolanputeri) January 5, 2019
glad its canon that wizards constantly shit their pants https://t.co/JfxoYwC6GG
— Alasdair C (@AlasdairC) January 5, 2019