A wanted ad found in Brooklyn has gone viral on Twitter for its ridiculously precise — and sexist — language. Shared by @OhNoSheTwitnt with the caption “Seen by my cousin-in-law in Brooklyn. What. The. F—k?” the ad provides a scant profile of the seeker and an epic list of what he is — and is not —looking for in a partner.
Seen by my cousin-in-law in Brooklyn. What. The. Fuck. pic.twitter.com/dnwpbtSldm— The Volatile Mermaid (is on vacation) (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 27, 2019
Are you “highly attractive,” “very promiscuous,” in possession of “thick-sexy legs,” “an absolute tremendously great kisser,” “love to wear leggings (denim, cotton &/or leather),” and have “long red-polished finger nails & matching red-polished toe nails” — and satisfy about 50 other oddly specific traits?
Your soulmate awaits!
He enjoys “sporting events and night clubs,” “the color red,” “cats and tigers,” and “watching martial arts films and Law & Order Special Victims Unit” among other things.
Listing Law & Order: SVU in your hobbies might be a red flag
— Buckley Wilkinson (@souptheorist) July 27, 2019
This guy really knows what he wants: “Nationalities: American, Canadian, Hispanic, Brazilian, British, Swedish, Italian, Native American – Apache tribe preferred”
“Love to wear and look ‘extremely sexy’ in mini skirts […] brown-shaded thigh-hi stockings &/or pantyhose […] & 5-6 inch spiked heels…Pornstars are also welcomed”
My fave is “porn stars are always welcome”
— kristen johnston (@thekjohnston) July 27, 2019
Twitter users had a lot to say, particularly about the entitled masculinity on display.
“This is the up-front disclosure of the real agenda behind men who expect to be able to do whatever they want and you just have to put up with it. At least this one is putting up a notice? That way I can run the other way before he turns around hahaha”
This is the up-front disclosure of the real agenda behind men who expect to be able to do whatever they want and you just have to put up with it. At least this one is putting up a notice? That way I can run the other way before he turns around hahaha
— MalianLovesYou (@MalianLovesYou) July 27, 2019
his qualifications = one line
his demands = fiftyleven lines
— TrillMonger (@paulinesting) July 27, 2019
Apache women who wear 5-6in spiked heels. Got it.
— Nayyera Haq (@nayyeroar) July 28, 2019
Others compared the ad to other notoriously long items, such as job listings, Dr. Bronner’s soap, and CVS receipts.
This looks like 1 of those job listings that requires a master’s degree but only pays $12 an hour
— Pasch….it sounds like cash (@Tao_Pasch) July 28, 2019
If Dr. Bronner’s Pure Castile Soap was a dating service
— Wesley’s Sweater (@sweater_wesley) July 27, 2019
These CVS receipts are getting out of hand.
— Caren Lissner (@CarenLissner) July 27, 2019
This guy has been writing long and precise want ads and posting them around Brooklyn since at least 2010. Sometimes it’s just really hard to find love in the big city.
Awww nuts! I prefer the color blue.
*sigh* Welp, back to the empty arms motel for me
— Ohh Hi There (@StillFrettin) July 27, 2019