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I Keep Finding New Things To Be Amused Yet Horrified By In This Viral Dating Ad

A wanted ad found in Brooklyn has gone viral on Twitter for its ridiculously precise — and sexist — language. Shared by @OhNoSheTwitnt with the caption “Seen by my cousin-in-law in Brooklyn. What. The. F—k?” the ad provides a scant profile of the seeker and an epic list of what he is — and is not —looking for in a partner.

Are you “highly attractive,” “very promiscuous,” in possession of “thick-sexy legs,” “an absolute tremendously great kisser,” “love to wear leggings (denim, cotton &/or leather),” and have “long red-polished finger nails & matching red-polished toe nails” — and satisfy about 50 other oddly specific traits?

Your soulmate awaits!

Twitter

He enjoys “sporting events and night clubs,” “the color red,” “cats and tigers,” and “watching martial arts films and Law & Order Special Victims Unit” among other things.

This guy really knows what he wants: “Nationalities: American, Canadian, Hispanic, Brazilian, British, Swedish, Italian, Native American – Apache tribe preferred”

“Love to wear and look ‘extremely sexy’ in mini skirts […] brown-shaded thigh-hi stockings &/or pantyhose […] & 5-6 inch spiked heels…Pornstars are also welcomed”

Twitter users had a lot to say, particularly about the entitled masculinity on display.

“This is the up-front disclosure of the real agenda behind men who expect to be able to do whatever they want and you just have to put up with it. At least this one is putting up a notice? That way I can run the other way before he turns around hahaha”

Others compared the ad to other notoriously long items, such as job listings, Dr. Bronner’s soap, and CVS receipts.

This guy has been writing long and precise want ads and posting them around Brooklyn since at least 2010. Sometimes it’s just really hard to find love in the big city.