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24 Of The Stupidest Things Anyone Has Ever Heard

Look, we’ve all said stupid things. Because we’ve all said stupid things, we’ve earned the right to laugh at other people who have said stupid things.

That’s just the way the world works. It’s just like how we all laugh at people who trip and therefore can’t get mad when other people laugh when we trip. Karma, baby!

Reddit user u/Yurtle_212 asked their fellow redditors for the most gobsmackingly stupid things they’d ever heard and it turns out there are plenty of stupid people out there. What’s better for us (and not them) is that these stupid people don’t particularly mind if anyone overhears their stupid comments. Go ahead and enjoy these terrifically dumb comments and apologies if one of them happens to have come out of your mouth.

24. Thank God It’s Thursday

What day of the week is good Friday on?

Do you mean what date?

No, what day of the week. It was on a Thursday last year.


23. What’s The Beef?

Waited on a woman who asked me what kind of meat was in our beef taco salad.

Lady: what kind of meat is in your beef taco salad?

Me : Beef

L: what kind of beef?

Me: Beef, ground beef seasoned with taco seasoning.

L: No, I mean is it pork or chicken?

Me: Ma’am, it’s beef, it’s from a cow. It’s beef.

22. The Matchmaker

Can you imagine what kind of animals giraffes f*ck?

Yea dude. Other giraffes.

21. That’s Why It’s Called ‘Tubing,’ Right?

Working for a rafting company I’m asked far too often at the end of the float if we are back at the start. Rivers don’t flow in god damn circles!

20. So Much Culture In Such A Small Space

If it was possible to even land a plane on Japan because it’s so small.

Because, you know, maps are a 1:1 description of the world :/

19. Deal Of The Century

For context, I work in a phone shop.

Customer: What is this? (Hands me his bill)

Me: This is your bill.

Customer: But I already paid it.

Me: Well then, don’t worry about it.

Customer: No, I mean I paid it last month.

Me: Oh, this is just your second bill then.


Me: Last month’s bill, yes. This is your next bill.


Me: … yes … that’s what a phone contract is. You signed a contract for 2 years didn’t you?

Customer: Yeah.

Me: So you will get a bill each month for 2 years then.

Customer: WHAT A RIP OFF!!!

He legit thought he would only get a single $90 bill for his brand new iPhone over the entire 2 years of his contract…

18. You Poor Man

I have a buzz cut. A guy at work recently asked, dead seriously “Do you cut your hair? Or does it only grow that long?”


17. If Only Bangs Grew OUT That Fast

I got a haircut with bangs when I was around 13 and, when I showed up to school the next day, one of my classmates asked me how I grew them so fast.

16. Why, Not How

When I was in college and my flatmate saw my room he asked me in all seriousness: “why is your toilet so clean?”.

15. The Oil Is The Healthy Part!

Someone was placing an order once at my family’s restaurant, and they had asked me for a side of French fries without the potatoes. I assumed she was joking, so I laughed…she wasn’t joking. She got offended and left the restaurant lol