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Trump Flips Out In All-Caps Twitter Rant After Being Implicated In A Felony

Our broken record president, Donald Trump, has two hit singles when it comes to Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation: 1) WITCH HUNT and 2) NO COLLUSION!!!

Today he was playing the B-side and we were treated to a special all-caps rendition of his favorite hysterical denial.

Yes our emotionally unstable commander-in-chief seems really seems to have a bee in his weave lately. It might have something to do with the tightening Mueller investigation and the parade of former cronies who are flipping on Trump and taking deals. That’s certainly a possibility. The newly released sentencing guidelines for Michael Cohen report that Trump directed Cohen to make contact with the Russian government as early as 2015.

While Trump, with characteristic denial of reality, claimed that the newly released evidence proved his innocence, the rest of the universe is in agreement that it does exactly the opposite. Furthermore the investigation into Cohen appears to state very bluntly that Trump, named as “Individual-1”, directed Cohen to break campaign finance laws by making illegal payments to cover up Trump’s affairs with various models and porn stars.

This apparent coordination between Cohen and Trump to influence the election seemingly constitutes a felony and, needless to say, it’s all making the president a bit grumpy.

While everyone was glued to the Cohen news Trump quickly started tweeting about the riots in France perhaps in a vain attempt to shift people’s attention away from his own widely-publicized corruption.

He’s sure to return to his Mueller probe hits however, so stay tuned for more pointless rage-tweeting in an hour or two from the most powerful person in the world.

h/t: Huffington Post