Donald Trump would like to wish you a very good and very loud New Year. Late New Year’s Eve, he posted two videos shot from the White House in which he claimed to be working but wished everyone else a good time. It’s unclear how much of this alleged work involved Twitter.
In the first video he posted, which is only 11 seconds long, he says he’s “at the White House working” while “you’re out there partying,” but that’s okay, he understands, he just wants to wish you a “really really happy New Year.”
HAPPY NEW YEAR! pic.twitter.com/bHoPDPQ7G6
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 31, 2018
Unfortunately, that’s not all. He posted a second video, this time on the @WhiteHouse Twitter account, in which he promises that he only wants to wish us a “very very happy New Year,” and then immediately breaks that promise by talking more.
2018 has been a year of historic accomplishments! pic.twitter.com/6Iq5CFVdwY
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) January 1, 2019
He says that this new year will be “complicated, but great” and then goes on to claim that “there has never been an administration – and I’m very proud of this – that’s done more than the Trump administration in the first two years of office.” For the record, this is the same statement that made the entire U.N. general assembly laugh at Trump during his speech last year.
“The economy is doing great,” he says, ignoring the alarming instability of the stock market and impending recession. “Wages are rising for the first time in many, many years,” he says, pretending that his own political party has been fighting against those wage increases tooth and nail the whole time. And forgetting that he just froze a modest pay increase for federal workers.
After he’s done bragging, Trump goes on to argue for his wall again.
“You don’t have borders, you don’t have a country,” he says, as though anyone is advocating for no borders at all. “We don’t want drug traffickers or human traffickers or illegal people with criminal records to come in.”
Trump did not comment on the two little children who have recently died in U.S. custody after fleeing from violence and poverty in Guatemala.
Then, this morning, Trump once again wished everyone a Happy New Year in an unnecessarily loud Twitter text post.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE, INCLUDING THE HATERS AND THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA! 2019 WILL BE A FANTASTIC YEAR FOR THOSE NOT SUFFERING FROM TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME. JUST CALM DOWN AND ENJOY THE RIDE, GREAT THINGS ARE HAPPENING FOR OUR COUNTRY!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 1, 2019
It wouldn’t be January 1 without Trump talking about the haters.
Is Twitter ready to “calm down and enjoy the ride”? No.
— zb (@ZacBentz) January 1, 2019
Just calm down and enjoy the ride pic.twitter.com/eYk8sVgmI3
— Maria? (@mariachilz13) January 1, 2019
“CALM DOWN AND ENJOY THE RIDE” pic.twitter.com/i3ghIUhaT7
— Matt Fay (@MattFay1) January 1, 2019
Lower case is your friend (granted, probably your only friend).
— LSchu (@3GirlsMeemaw) January 1, 2019
— Bryan Danek (@BryanDrewDanek) January 1, 2019
"Just calm down and enjoy the ride" is probably the rapiest thing he's tweeted to date https://t.co/2ONY4lQj5Z
— Alex Leo (@AlexMLeo) January 1, 2019
ALL CAPS DOESN’T GIVE US A CALM DOWN & ENJOY THE RIDE KINDA VIBE. pic.twitter.com/XAWWHeRrMG
— Jenny (@DoctorJenniferJ) January 1, 2019
Uh oh… Grandpa's been huffing the turpentine again.
— Steak Frites (@kevincdoyle) January 1, 2019
"Calm down and enjoy the ride" is what someone says before they violate you or continue to commit treason. Take your pick!
— Vix in NV (@vix_cee) January 1, 2019
Trump just inadvertently gave us the catch phrase of 2019… When the Mueller Report comes out… When the Democrats take control of the House and begin launching warranted investigations… When Don Jr. does the perp walk, what are we gonna say… CALM DOWN AND ENJOY THE RIDE…
— Cyrus McQueen (@CyrusMMcQueen) January 1, 2019
Did you see your good friend over in North Korea threatening the US this morning? Is this one of your "GREAT THINGS"?
— Rob Johnson (@darkspot) January 1, 2019
Yep, all aboard the Trump Train! pic.twitter.com/jberFnulpX
— moRockatansky (@moRockatansky) January 1, 2019
— Makeshift? ? ? Mars (@Maefrombackeast) January 1, 2019
— Nick Ostler (@nickostler) January 1, 2019
— Qęy ✪ eT ✪ Dog ➨ ⒶⒸT̷ⓊⒶⓁ (@QeyeTDogbytes) January 1, 2019
It’s times like this I’m really sorry I never got into psychology. Seriously, all those books could I have written about your descent into insanity, I’d be *rolling* in dough by now… pic.twitter.com/8IzuybBmh1
— Jason Wages ? (@jason_wages) January 1, 2019
— Maggie Spoonz (@MaggieSpoonemo1) January 1, 2019
Hey, when it comes to the Mueller investigation, JUST CALM DOWN AND ENJOY THE RIDE, GREAT THINGS ARE HAPPENING FOR OUR COUNTRY!
— Shower Cap (@CapShower) January 1, 2019
Trump tweeting this pic.twitter.com/sfHdw5Rh4E
— khal droga (@prettynxtdoor) January 1, 2019
I'm half your age, and still too old to be "throwin' shouts out to my haters." A good new year's resolution for you would be to act your age.
— Diego Amarosa (@DiegoAmarosa) January 1, 2019
I literally thought this was @TrumpMusicals and was waiting for the joke to drop then I realized the whole tweet was a joke
— Just Ate Cuba; Oh Boy! (@legitmahimaher) January 1, 2019
CALM DOWN AND ENJOY THE RIDE pic.twitter.com/QNfwjjiLze
— ➖Dustin Miller➖ (@spdustin) January 1, 2019
In two days, the newly elected Democrats take the House. Enjoy the ride!