Am I the A**hole? is the perfect subreddit to read when you want to have an apoplectic fit on behalf of some poor woman being berated by her terrible husband, because commenters usually drag them to hell for you. A post from user u/zimbello-13 title, “AITA for not wanting my wife to make her favorite comfort food?” shows just how self-centered someone can be—but is rescued by all the responses telling him exactly how awful he is. Good!
AITA gives people the opportunity to share a story in which they came out feeling like a bit of a bad guy and get an honest opinion on if they are one or not. The OP begins by explaining that he is a vegetarian. While his wife is not, she eats considerably less meat since they met.
They have a small grocery budget, and he says he is the “head of the household” and she takes care of the home, including cooking. While he doesn’t object to her eating meat, they usually don’t spend much money on it unless they’re eating out or getting take out.
Fast forward to this week, when they got into a fight over bolognese sauce. The wife wants to make some because it has been cold and rainy and she’s craving the taste of a dish her mom used to make her.
Bolognese has meat in it and it’s a labor-intensive dish. Her husband was doing the grocery shopping and she asked him to pick up the ingredients. Usually, if his wife makes a meat dish, she makes a version that’s vegetarian, but she asked for the night off on that front:
He goes on to explain how his wife began to cry and asked why he was “being so f*cking difficult” when she was feeling sick.
Yikes, man. Your wife isn’t feeling well. Endometriosis is a very painful and unpleasant condition, and a flare-up means she’s experiencing it x100. She wants to do something comforting for herself, and she’s willing to pay the money for it (since you’re Mr. Head Of Household) and you can’t let her? Make a can of soup and shut the hell up.
That’s pretty much how everyone on the thread responded, too.
“Dude. You’re a whole grown up. It’s time to learn how to cook. YTA,” wrote burgundyisnavyred, using the You’re The A**hole abbreviation. “Also, as someone of Italian heritage, I’m shook that you suggested she add the meat at the end. My Nonna says turn on your location bro she just wants to talk.”
Redditor sluttyfineapple agreed, writing, “YTA she’s your wife not your mother and you’re not a child. You already said she doesn’t feel well and she’s trying to make a comfort meal for herself it is incredibly self centered and selfish to ask her not to make her favorite meal.”
And so on. After reading the comments, the OP edited his post to say that he intended to apologize, saying, “I am seeing what you guys are saying, I should probably apologize to her, but is it not at least a little esh?”
ESH stands for Everyone Sucks Here, meaning both people are wrong rather than just one is a super big a**hole. But nope, everyone still things YTA, buddy.
User little_honey_beee·responded to the edit by writing, “Nope. How on earth is your wife an a-hole here? Because she made a meal for herself? One time she chose not to cater to your dietary wishes, during a time when she felt like sh*t, and you threw a fit like a baby. You should ABSOLUTELY apologize to her, and she doesn’t suck. YTA.”
What’s especially wild is that in another comment, the OP admits that Head of household doesn’t actually mean he makes all the money. His wife also has a job and earns more money than him, he just literally pays the bills, as in hits “pay bill” on the utility website or something:
She makes more money than me, but she completely sucks at managing money so by being HoH I mean that I am the one who makes sure our large expenses get paid, like property taxes and homeowners insurance. I spend several hours per week making sure all of our bills are paid and she only pays her personal bills like credit cards and student loans.
A woman who makes good money and makes classic bolognese? Dump this a**hole, honey, and find yourself a man who cooks for you when you’re sick.