There are a lot of valid reasons to hate Mark Zuckerberg, but his Congressional booster seat is not one of them.
The booster seat is not his fault. Allowing his evil creation to destroy the very fabric of society is his fault, as is hiding the full extent of its privacy infringements. Allowing Russian bots to help sway the hateful and mindless of Middle America to vote for Trump using really bad Jesus ads— that one’s also on him. Bearing no resemblance whatsoever to a living, breathing human may or may not be his fault. Verdict’s out on that one.
But his lil butt cushion is (reportedly) the fault of Congress, and/or his bones, and all of America for subconsciously equating tallness with power.
Washingtonian pointed out the thicc cushion underneath the Zuckerbum on Tuesday, which, according to a Facebook rep, is “standard practice” for the Senate Judicial Committee. So maybe Zuck was forced to be comfortable. Can’t blame him for that.
Further defense of Zuck’s booster seat comes in the form of Dr. Joel Press, physiatrist-in-chief at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City, who told Fortune that “There’s probably some reason for it, whether it’s related to back- or hip-related things,” and that “It may be uncomfortable for shorter people to sit in some chairs, since they’re typically made with a person between 5’8″ and 5’10” in mind.”
Fair enough, though we have our doubts as to whether Zuckerberg actually owns an endoskeleton.
Then there’s the height thing. Fact: Tall people are richer, more successful, and perceived to be more powerful than their short counterparts. Of America’s 45 presidents, only six have been of below-average height. So the logic of the 5’7″ Zuckerberg— an introvert enduring (well-deserved) public punishment by a mass of Internet-clueless octogenarians— perching himself on a 4-inch-thick butt-pad is understandable. It may have been just the confidence booster (seat) he needed to rise to the challenge. Sort of like Tom Cruise’s shoe lifts.
But none of this matters in the eyes of the Internet because it is populated by a bunch of funny savages. Also, it’s not hard to dislike Mark Zuckerberg. It’s probably harder to like the Zuck than it is to dislike him. And in the end, maybe the booster seat is his fault after all. Who am I to say?
How you gonna testify to Congress sitting on a booster seat? pic.twitter.com/zkfb1uQCps
— Jericho – Tucker (@IIJERiiCHOII) April 10, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg sitting on a booster cushion in order to appear taller is a great metaphor for life on Facebook.
— Mike Cosper (@MikeCosper) April 10, 2018
I know Zuckerberg is likely not human, but goddammit this booster seat hurt me to see. I know that feeling Z-fighter pic.twitter.com/g5xwm3ZnSN
— Published Author (@MoistCr1TiKaL) April 10, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg in a booster seat looks like he’s about to ask the waitress for chicken fingers and apple juice pic.twitter.com/oGA6RkGE4S
— Jules (@Julian_Epp) April 11, 2018
RT if u dont need a booster seat like Zucc pic.twitter.com/11ZQbOdvBm
— ALGORITHM CONSULTANT 2.0 (@EthicalAncap) April 10, 2018
— Jermaine Warren (@iamjermainew) April 10, 2018
— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) April 10, 2018
Lmfao why are you using a booster chair my man pic.twitter.com/Md36Z0mAz0
— reeby (@SusumuYogurt) April 10, 2018
Zuck’s 4″ booster seat is the coolest item from today. pic.twitter.com/FMKQUV3MbG
— John Robb (@johnrobb) April 10, 2018
It’s not a booster seat, it’s a battery pack. pic.twitter.com/xxxs6O2fvp
— Big League Politics (@bigleaguepol) April 10, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg went for Dinner with his wife after testifying in a booster pic.twitter.com/BVrOGfzrqE
— Michael J. Morrison (@OfficeOfMike) April 11, 2018