On today’s “Am I the A**hole” storytime hour, we’ve got a woman whose entire relationship blew up after she asked her boyfriend to run a simple errand for her and he showed his true face. Sometimes I wonder what people are talking about in their relationships that none of this stuff comes up before they’re living together, but I guess it’s better to know than never find out. Redditor u/sadlyambitious found out the hard way.
She says she is 23 and her boyfriend is 24, which is definitely old enough to know better. They’ve been together two years and live together.
She says a few days ago she got her period. It had arrived early and she was out of menstrual pads. Since she has a heavy flow, she couldn’t go out and grab any without possibly bleeding through her pants:
So I asked my boyfriend if he could buy pads for me from the drugstore, because it was late. He immediately said no.
I was shocked because I wasn’t really expecting that. I asked him why. He said that he didn’t want the cashier to see him buying pads. At this point I started laughing because that was hilarious. He wasn’t joking though. He just glared at me. I told him that the cashier would obviously know it wasn’t for him. Plus, the cashier would definitely not care what he was buying. He still refused. I told him that he could go to the self checkout machine if he was so insecure, but he said that he didn’t want anyone to see him with the pads because they’d think he was a “tr***y”. I told him that he was childish, and that his masculinity was really fragile if he couldn’t even buy pads for his own girlfriend. He got mad and went out. I had to bunch up toilet paper as a makeshift pad, wear black pants and a long cardigan and go buy the pads myself. My boyfriend has been ignoring me ever since. I’ve been thinking that maybe I might’ve pushed it too far.
So AITA for telling my boyfriend that his masculinity was fragile after he refused to buy pads for me?
Um, no. Your boyfriend is transphobic and misogynistic and also a total wimp if he cares what anyone thinks at the CVS. And that’s basically what everyone said:
This is a rare case that starts out so badly then ends on the happy note of a jerk getting dumped. She updated to say thank you for all the replies and that she would be having a serious discussion with him.
Then she shared the results of her discussion, which included finding out that her boyfriend doesn’t understand basic biology and hates trans people:
We sat down together and I told him that I didn’t like how he acted about buying pads for me. He said that he didn’t feel like he had to, and that I could’ve “held it in” and drove to the drugstore to get the pads myself. I told him that you can’t “hold in” menstrual blood, but he insisted that I could’ve done it for a few minutes and that it wouldn’t be a big deal. We went back and forth over this so I just dropped it.
I asked him (like most of you mentioned) what would happen when we have kids and he’d have to take care of me and buy me nipple cream, take me to the washroom, etc. He said that I would not need those things because I should be able to do them on my own after giving birth. He said that there wasn’t anything hard about using the bathroom and the only reason I’d need help is if I was a “cripple”. Then I asked him about the tr***y comment. He said that he didn’t understand why people would want to change the gender they were born in. That basically cemented everything for me. I felt completely betrayed and humiliated.
She says, “I can’t believe I spent two years of my life with a guy who holds these views, and I can’t believe I was too oblivious to it. I just feel so dumb. I told him that we need to break up. He cussed at me and told me that I was exaggerating and that I was being a b*tch.”
She says she paid him her half of the month’s rent, then went to her parents house. She says she is sad, because she did love him, but she also feels relieved. She thanks everyone for their support in dumping this guy and I would also like to thank Reddit for their service.